Life happens as we breathe

Enjoy every day in your life. Smile often and look for the good. Our life is like a flash of light, burning bright, then gone. 

From breath to breath, we are born and die.
First flashing as a star, shining with every promise,
Then settling into orbit, steady into life as breath exhales.
We turn, and what we leave is what we bring
Between the breaths.

Ecclesiastes 3 begins: There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. In this book, Solomon explores the meaning of life. By the end of chapter 12, Solomon understands that the lures and adventures of life alone are meaningless and shares, "Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."

I wrote this poem to read at my brother's memorial. My brother fell off the dock where he worked and hit his head. It was a sudden passing.

Jesus Can Overcome Your Thoughts

I learned that Jesus can overcome my thinking, my doubts, and my misgivings. I was working on a poem expressing the origins of earth-Yes, I did think this. I remembered that in the Bible there was a reference to giants that walked the lands. 

I asked a woman I worked with (whose husband was a minister) if I could meet with them to discuss this reference and talk about my poem. They were very kind to my hippie agnostic self. As I was leaving, the minister said to read the book of John when I had time.

OK. I was cooking dinner, sitting on a bench in my kitchen, and opened my big Catholic Bible my mom gave me when I was married. This is the result:

"In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God...and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us." John 1:1-14 

Agnostic eyes read these words. 
My brain translating concepts into thoughts:
Flowing electricity
Through the fortifications of all I knew.
Stunned, I stared at lilac walls,
Laced with the afternoon sun.
I sat, looking at the big book in my hand,
My brain clicking internal binary codes,
Programming inroads
Through disconnected memory files
And suddenly,
Organized sense awoke.
A veil was lifted:
I gasped, “I’m saved.”

(excerpt from my book "Believing is Just the Beginning")

God: My life and breath

You are my life and breath,

My fiber, and the basis of my being.

You are the strength in my soul,

The keeper of the courage in my heart.

In the devastation of broken dreams,

Among the ruins of unrecognized hope, 

You are the foundation for rebuilding and rebirth,

The keeper of the courage in my heart.

Your Word is like a strong arm,

Your will a wall of safety.

You are faith itself, and never-ending hope.

Though earthquakes rock my life

And split my dreams like paper

I cling to You, my constant source of strength,

Oh Lord, my hope and my eternal love.

You own my heart, and all that I have belongs to You.

What thought, or dream conceived,

Does not spring from Your creation?

I am, I am because You are,

Oh Lord. I am because You are.

 From "Believing is Just the Beginning" by Pennee Struckman

What are you trusting God to do? What is your Manna?

What is your manna? I woke this morning wondering how the Israelites felt when they were hungry, following a God they barely knew, and learning to trust Him. As Christians, we see the joy and faithfulness of God, but we still have unanswered prayers. We sometimes battle the doubts that arise in the everyday walk. This is what I imagined it was like for a mother who had no food to feed her children.

The woman could not sleep. She left her bed, checking on her children, then stepped outside the tent. The camp was dark; only a few ember fires were scattered around.

She drew her shawl around her in the early morning chill. What would she feed her family today? The figs and meal brought from Egypt were gone. Her children were hungry.

She looked at the stars, now fading in the transparent light of the dawn. She was born in captivity, and amazed as any at the deliverance from slavery, following a man she didn’t know, but trusting in her father and her husband. This God they listened to, who had parted a river while they passed on dry land, what a joyous moment that was, knowing her people were freed from bondage. But now there was the everyday journey, learning to trust a God she was unfamiliar with. And what would God do to feed her children?

She prayed, “God, I do follow you, although I am still learning. Please show me how to trust you and to know your loving kindness and truth. God of Jacob, God of my fathers, please help me feed my children.”

She walked to the back of the tent, still wondering how to learn this everyday walk with a God she was still getting to know. As she stood silently, gazing out at the vast expanse of desert, struggling to overcome the fear in her heart, she felt a gentle push on her shoulder. She looked to see where it came from.

Her eyes grew wide, and she quickly went back into the tent to wake her husband. “There is bread on the ground,” she whispered. He rose, still sleepy, “What are you saying?” “Come,” she replied.

The couple stood outside the tent and marveled that the sand was filled with bread. “Get a basket”, her husband said, and hurried off to wake the elders.

As I meditate on this, I see my manna and what I asked of the Lord. I am strengthened, knowing that God can supply all my needs. I can rest, knowing that my manna is coming. 

How do you imagine Heaven?

How do you imagine Heaven? I hear about streets of gold, mansions, and pearly gates. 

I picture a white house with all my family in the yard. My mom is holding my infant grandchild, my brothers are playing with my dad, and my sister is walking around the rose-filled garden. There is a pathway leading to the house, where my dad greeted each of them as they arrived.

But mostly, I think of what it will be like to meet God and Jesus. In my thoughts, I am awestruck, just standing there with tears in my eyes, so grateful to be in the Lord’s presence. I don’t believe I will visit the white house or find my mansion. I will sit before the Lord quietly, thanking Him for leading me to this place. 

When I imagine Heaven, there is no greater thought than being with God. I am speechless, peaceful, and happy. 

Who is the holiest in God’s kingdom?

Who is the holiest in God’s Kingdom? Is holiness what we do, or is it where the heart lies?

Salvation is a free gift from God; all He requires is our belief and submission. It is as simple as walking through an open door and as tricky as trying to open a locked door. Over the course of our average lifetime, everyday living bruises us and locks us down. 

Education introduces alternative thoughts on reality. Society promotes self-fulfillment and moral freedom. The truth is housed in shades of gray. My understanding of salvation is a level playing field.

We enter God’s Kingdom by accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior. God’s love was always with us and didn’t increase because we are now His children. The faith we have was already measured out by God, and now becomes active. In God’s eyes, when we are saved, we are as holy as we will ever be. 

I have been in the Kingdom for more than 30 years. I have observed many ‘movements’ within the body: the faith movements (name it and claim it), the prosperity movement (honoring those who are well off more than those who are not), and the judgment movement (those who have trouble and illness must be secretly sinning).

While faith is the substance of following Christ, prosperity or righteousness is the strength of Christ in us, and judgment exists within our personal relationship with Jesus. God is in control, and these movements have passed away because they were man-made. 

Yet some of these ideas still exist within the individual groups of believers. I met one woman who vehemently opposed Joyce Meyer, calling her a prosperity teacher. I tried to explain that the Word identifies prosperity with righteousness. And this left me wondering: Why is it so hard for people to believe that God wants us to prosper?

I have an illness called positional vertigo. I can get very sick at times and have to limit my movements. Why am I sharing this? Because I met a woman in a denomination who walked up to me and asked me if I had aids because she heard I was ill. I had never really spoken with her and only knew her briefly.

Of all the illnesses a person can have, why did she leap to this one? I honestly can’t look her in the eye. Not because of her question, but because of the heart that sprang from it. Who thinks these things? How can a person go immediately to one of the worst conditions in America just because another person has an illness?

I have met believers who have many rules: don’t wear makeup, don’t go to movies, don’t play cards, don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t fellowship with unbelievers (now that one blows me away, after all, are we only supposed to shine the light on each other?).

I conversed with a young woman who had accepted Jesus as Lord. She was thinking of turning back because she couldn’t conquer all the ‘don’ts’ she was being told to do. I shared my own salvation experience with her. I was told by a woman that I couldn’t be saved because I was a hippie. I thought about the statement, but I knew in my innermost being that Jesus was honest and that I decided to follow Him. 

I didn’t change overnight; it was years of praying, listening, and being cooked in the silver pot, all the dross skimmed off, then cooked again.

Who is the holiest in heaven? God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. No matter what we do as Christians during our journey on earth, we cannot earn a higher place in heaven.

We can always draw closer to God by learning to let our nature, thoughts, judgment, and hearts give way to what God is doing in our lives. For me, that means deflecting my pride, keeping my tongue, being submissive to the rules at work, doing good wherever I see fit to do it, and handing my tendency for melancholy over to God every time I find it swimming in my soul.

It is remembering that we live in an imperfect world, shrouded in darkness, and it is my ‘job’ to shine a light in this darkness. My light is kindness (even when I don’t feel kind), consistency in my actions and reactions (even when I want to slap someone), smiling, and listening for the opportunity to encourage, provide, and perform a good deed for someone. 

And I do this for unbelievers. Imagine that?  

How did you meet the Lord?

 

God is ever-present, looking and longing for those who will come to Him. (2 Chronicles 16:9) How did you catch God’s eye? Were there times of trouble and grief, or were you struck by the truth that God exists?

I met the Lord during the Jesus movement in the late 1970s. My friends were “saved,” and I thought they were stupid. I didn’t not believe in God; I just couldn’t see the need for it in my life. 

I am a poet, and I was working on a poem about the creation of the earth, some hippie notion of Father Moon and Mother Sun. I remembered the Bible talking about giants who walked the land, and, out of curiosity, I asked a woman who was a preacher’s wife if I could come and speak with her husband.

I went to their home and discussed what the Bible says about the giants and other things. As I left, her husband said if I wanted to know more, I should read the first book of John. 

 A few days passed. While cooking dinner one evening, I remembered what the preacher said. I found the Bible my mom gave me when I got married. I looked for the first book of John and opened the Bible to John 1:1: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”.

The power and Spirit of God entered my heart and consumed my mind. It was an unseen bright light shining through me. I knew this was the truth. And that is how, 47 years ago, I met the Lord. I have never regretted one day of this life.

God's Word Became Real-The Essence of Salvation

God's Word is alive-it did not dry with the ink. Some Christians believe that the Word cannot be heard or understood from individual verses, yet God speaks to the heart through a verse or a chapter.

I have been perplexed lately about the disturbances I have felt in my heart. I listen to others talk and hear their ideas concerning leading people to the Lord and how they believe they should live. All is good, but something is unsettling to me.

I have been praying and seeking God about this. I did not know if I was missing something, believing falsely, or what was going on. I began to look up the word 'reasoning' because this seems to be happening in the conversations. And in my Christian walk, I do not rely on reasoning but simply on believing in God.

John 8:47 (KJV) He that is of God heareth God's words: ye, therefore, hear them not, because ye are not of God. I read John 8:47, and this helped me a lot. Based on my own experience with Jesus, it was not arguments or justifications, but the overwhelming presence of God and the realization that this was the truth that brought me to salvation.

During the 70s, the "Jesus Movement" began. Many of my friends were saved, and we talked about their experiences. I was not moved and did not feel a great need to 'find Jesus. I was working on a poem about the origins of creation, and asked a woman I worked with, a pastor's wife, if I could come and speak with her and her husband about some questions I had about descriptions in the Bible
. We talked for a long time about the giants in the land and some aspects of what the Word said about creation. As I left, the pastor suggested I read the book of John.

Not knowing the Bible but remembering the word "John," I got out the Catholic Bible my mom had given me when I was married. I opened it, found John 1, and began to read. This is what I read, and this is what happened.

In the beginning, was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God...and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. John 1:1-14(NKJV)

Agnostic eyes read these words.

My brain translating concepts into thoughts:

Flowing electricity

Through the fortifications of all I knew.

Stunned, I stared at lilac walls,

Laced with the afternoon sun.

I sat, looking at the big book in my hand,

My brain clicking internal binary codes,

Programming inroads

Through disconnected memory files

And suddenly,

Organized sense awoke.

A veil was lifted:

I gasped, "I'm saved."

God Disarms Me

Have you ever stopped in your tracks, realizing you are full of yourself? Our knowledge, our success, our achievements-these make us feel so proud and in control. Then, in a moment, we stop and realize we are not yielding to God; instead, we are trying to make Him yield to us. Holding fast to the rudder of our destiny, all the while God is whispering, “Let go”.

God disarms me.

Within my heart are many ways,

Each tumbles.

And over each is only One.

Abiding peace, smooth steps of standing

Held fast and safe.

Revealed, this pride and jealousy and judgment:

The Word healed my blindness

Cut deep the weave of web that held my sin.

It burst forth, force, spilling onto the floor

So I could see.

Shame has gripped me.

Realizing how I have filtered the Hand of God

Gripping it to guide, bend it to my will-

God would not, and still

His love remains.

Right now, I cannot lift my eyes to look at His loveliness

So sad, horrified, and shamed by the deceit I promoted.

I have done such damage to His plan

I cannot undo my hard thoughts and hard words

They hang in the past, billowing into my present.

I do know God, His true goodness

I feel I have taken advantage of His mercy

I can only lie, face down in His presence, begging mercy

I know He loves me always

I sorrow because I have misused the Great Love

I pray for the strength to stand firm and not do it again.

God knows my heart. He remembers I am dust. I am reminded

That all I know, I want, I see, is but a wanton wisp of fleeting flesh

Fading in the light of eternity.

God cares for small prayers

God answered a small prayer for me today. I had a large box of photo matte paper I got from work. The paper was high-quality, 4 ft. by 4 ft. I only wanted four sheets, but had to take the entire box. I had set it outside with a big “FREE MATTE PAPER”.

No one took it. The box fell over, was rained on, and was too heavy for me to bend and lift into my trash can. Yesterday, as I thought about how I would cut it down to get rid of it, I asked God to touch the trash man's heart so he would pick up the box for me.

This morning, I heard the recycling truck. When I left for work, I saw that the person had lifted, folded, and placed the box into one of my trash cans.

I smiled and thanked God. He really does care about even the small details of my life.

Submission to God-What does this mean?

Submission to God

Submission to God is an ongoing process in the Christian walk. Submission means to come underneath God, to abdicate your thoughts, plans, and ideas to God's Word and His plan for your life. This can be confusing as we move through life, faced with choices and challenged by the desires of our hearts.

As a noun, submission is the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant; an act of submitting to the authority or control of another. As a verb, submission is to yield oneself to the authority or will of another; to permit oneself to be subjected to something; to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another.

Submission is not a natural concept. We are taught to be independent, think for ourselves, and rely upon our own resources. Submission has negative connotations: giving in, backing down, servitude, and cringing.

Submission to God is first to trust God and learn that He is loving, kind, and has a good plan for your life. As you grow in God, you begin to understand that His Word is not written to hurt you. God understands human nature; He has given wisdom in the Word to help us live well.

As we come to understand God's Word and trust Him, we begin to see the opposition in our hearts to living a Christ-centered life. It is our natural desire to hurt someone who hurts us, but God asks us to forgive. In our quest for success, we often look for ways to gain an advantage over another person, to promote ourselves, and to contrive methods to achieve our own ends.

David, a man after God's own heart, contrived a way to be with a woman who was not his wife. Then, when she became pregnant, she tried to find a way out of the situation.

God does not look for our strengths. God looks at our hearts. 1 Samuel 16:1-13 tells us how David was chosen to be king. When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, "Surely the Lord's anointed stands here before the Lord." But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, "The Lord has not chosen this one either." Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, "Nor has the Lord chosen this one." Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, "The Lord has not chosen these." So he asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?" "There is still the youngest," Jesse answered. "He is tending the sheep." Samuel said, "Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives." So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a pleasing appearance and handsome features. Then the Lord said, "Rise and anoint him; this is the one."

What does this have to do with submission to God? David trusted God and knew Him as his strength and his source. He accepted that God had anointed him and set out to learn to be a king. However, the power clouded his judgment, and he carried out his own agenda.

What is impressive is that when David was confronted with his sin, his inner man immediately went to his knees. He was, in his innermost being, submissive to God. (Psalm 51) What impressed me the most about David's submission was verse 16: "For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it."

God is not looking for us to perfect ourselves. He is looking for hearts that are imperfect, yet willing to trust Him and try. God will create smooth paths within us. He will reason with us and show us the wisdom in living a life modeling His Son, Jesus. Submission is trusting God and letting Him change our hearts and our lives.

Psalm 51:1-19 (ESV)

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. 

Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.

For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem; then will you delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Wicked Hearts

This is why we stay close to God and learn to love the world as He loves. For it is not the action of man but the heart of man that needs the grace of God.

Wayward wanton warlords
Calmly board the planes
To demonstrate a ritual
And prove their true disdain.

Treacherous, troubled tyrant
Slipped calmly into school
Fired anger into children
Uncivilized and cool.

Maleficent, malicious mother
Captured children, one by one,
And held them under water
Until each life was done.

Repellant, reprobate raper
Chased the woman as she ran,
Grabbed her by the collar,
Left her dead upon the sand

“Something wicked this way comes”
A falling from the grace
Tattered holy weave of man’s nature,
Abhorrent,
Void, the heart debased.

Women rule the world in whispers

All politics aside, women rule the world. It is not a rule of dominance or dominion over men but a leadership of concepts and lifestyle that starts at the cradle. The formative years of childhood are spent in the arms of a mother. The mother imparts values to her child, a wisdom that ingrains itself and forms the man or woman the child becomes.

The word ‘rule’ can ruffle feathers. However, to rule means to have a directive, to lead, to manage, and to reach a decision. I feel compelled to clarify that when women rule, it is in the social sense that the most potent element is at play. Powerful because social norms determine how men and women relate to and respect others. Historically, societies were not ‘civilized’ until the female voice of reason took the lead.

Women can change how society views women, men, equality, justice, fairness, respect, education, and much more. When individual women realize their potential to bring about social change, social change will begin. Women can raise their sons to respect women as they respect themselves. Woman can raise their daughters to respect themselves. Women can enable social equality with just a whisper.

When I see the horrific pictures on the internet showing veiled women in chains, or veiled women being buried, I understand that women do not know how powerful they are.

I read the values of International Women’s Day: Justice, Dignity, Hope, Equality, Collaboration, Tenacity, Appreciation, Respect, Empathy, and Forgiveness. These are the lullabies of women who move society forward.

Follow your heart without fear

To follow your heart means to trust your instincts. The heart is the choicest, the essential, and most vital part of an idea or experience. To have a heart is to have the courage to follow your convictions. When a person follows the heart, the way is sometimes contrary to what is expected. Others may say he is a fool or that he is chasing a pipe dream. However, when you have a dream and pursue it, you are following your heart.

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured and far away." (Henry David Thoreau)

There is an expression, "the heart wants what the heart wants." This is true, but the phrase is often associated only with emotions. Emotions are strong feelings, sometimes driven by love, and sometimes by intense anger. When we follow our emotions, we do not always follow our hearts. Sometimes the feelings we have for another person pull us away from our dreams. Important people in our lives may not understand or have the patience to support us while the dream becomes a reality. They may argue with us, berate us, or insist that it is them or the dream.

When faced with decisions, there are often times of confusion and doubt. We look at the pros and cons, weighing rewards and consequences. No matter how we turn the decision or the situation, if we have no peace, we are not following the heart. When we have no peace, it's best to be silent. In the solitude of self, the heart will whisper the right choice. It is essential not to allow emotion or desire to silence the truth our heart is telling us.

"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are one, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on'." (Rudyard Kipling)

So how do we know the difference?

If your emotions are leading you to give up your dreams, you aren't following your heart.

If your motives are to please those you love, you aren't following your heart.

If you are taking the easy way, you may not be following your heart.

Following your heart takes courage and conviction. You may have to walk away from people who are important to you. You may have to confront your shortcomings and, in your heart, determine to press on. Following your heart is not always easy, but the reward at the end is worth it.

Lifting God Higher

I have to share a song I heard this morning. It’s Higher by Unspoken and it will move your heart and soul. What amazing lyrics. The words are an echo of my heart. I ordered the CD Follow Through tonight.

This is my favorite verse:

“The devil's got a target on my heart and my soul

But let me tell you, brother, what the devil don't know

The lower I go, the more I'm gonna lift you….

Singing hallelujah 'til I hit the dirt, oh...”

Honestly, all that life throws at us, we hit the dirt often. As I am lying in the dirt, I look up. I remember that God is good all the time. Even when it seems so bleak, God is there, and I do need to remember to use these opportunities to lift God higher. 

Choosing a heart of peace

We live in a stressful world, dealing with rudeness and a lack of empathy for others. I made a decision some time ago to choose the heart of peace. For a while now, I have been letting God work on my heart to react with peace. It's not always easy, but it is always worth it. By choosing peace, people are easier to work with because they have no cause to react to a peaceful answer. 

Romans 12:18 advises us, "If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone." This can be a humbling process, at least it is for me, because my part is to stand firm and not allow gossip, disrespect, or the need to be right to interfere with my peace. I have learned that trying to argue with people leads nowhere. I have learned that gossip and disrespectful people are digging holes for themselves.

I remember poems I have read, and what my Mom always said about me. I march to the beat of a different drum. Henry David Thoreau wrote, "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Being a Christian, I am marching to the beat of a different drum. But God also wants me to walk in the measured beat of the world, understanding that without Christ, we lack understanding.

One of my favorite poems is also a source of advice and remembrance when I am in stressful situations.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute                                                                      
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
 And, which is more, you'll be a Man, my son! -  Rudyard Kipling

Even Jesus had to be patient

I was reading Luke Chapter 12 this morning, and found a statement that surprised me. Even Jesus had to be patient.

Jesus was talking with his chosen twelve and shared His personal challenge with stress. I can't say I have ever read where Jesus expressed His own experience with being patient. I read the Word to discover how to be a better Christian, how to handle a situation, and to strengthen my faith in God. But did you notice: I was reading to find out what I should do and what I could experience. When the Holy Spirit lit up these verses for me, I was filled and thought about this all day.

Jesus was speaking with the crowds, "So stop concerning yourselves about what you will eat or what you will drink, and stop being distressed." Luke 12:29 (ISV). I believe Jesus had stopped speaking to the crowd, because "Peter asked, 'Lord, are you telling this parable just for us or for everyone?" Luke 12:41 (ISV)

Jesus answered His disciples: "I have come to bring fire on earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! I have a baptism to be baptized with, and what stress I am under until it is completed!" Luke 12:49-50 (ISV).

Jesus taught others not to be afraid because the Father would supply their needs. He told them how much God loved them, and how even the hairs of their heads were numbered. Even as Jesus spoke these words, He was practicing patience. Jesus knew from the start of His ministry how it would end. Jesus knew He would be crucified and rejected by the very people He was helping. And He helped them anyway.

I spent a portion of my lunch hour today reading different versions of Luke 49 and 50. The words remained the same.

Worry sneaks quietly into our heart

 

Sometimes worry sneaks in before you know it. I have been going through a stressful period; don't we all have these times in life? I came back from vacation in Florida and had some little red bumps on my legs. My doctor sent me to a dermatologist. Turned out, I had squamous cancer on my face and basal cancer on my legs.

I had to go weekly for four weeks to have my skin dug, scraped, and sewn. I found out I am a bleeder, so Waa, this was tough. Then there is the concern of how to pay for all this. Add to this the need to do major and minor repairs on my home. My home turned 72 this year.

I became negative in my thinking, worrying about finances, repairs, and cancer. The words of my mouth were complaints and whining. This Saturday, I was getting ready to visit my brother for his birthday. I knew he would ask me how things were, and I was rehearsing my problems.

Suddenly, the Holy Spirit reminded me, "What about God?" This hit me like a brick. How could I go to my brother's house and complain when I serve such a mighty God? I realized that over the past few weeks, I had let worry creep in like crabgrass. It was choking me, and I did not even notice it.

I had to apologize to God right then. I asked Him to create in me a contrite heart and a right spirit. I asked him to restore my salt so that I would not lose my ability to praise God and be a witness with my life.

I felt like going to every single person I whined to and apologize. However, this would not serve a purpose. Instead, I have purposed in my heart to be more watchful. The Word says in life there will be trouble, but God delivers the righteous from them all.

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:13-14 (NIV2011)

 

Cancer is changing my heart

So maybe I will go in another direction with Christian Living. How about personal experiences? Right now, I am going through surgeries for skin cancers. I had squamous cell carcinoma and basal cell carcinoma. The doctor removed the squamous and one of the basal cell spots.

Cancer is always scary. I found myself looking to Jesus for strength. I realized that I am not ready to die, I still have some dreams and hopes, and I have sweet grandkids. This is my second round of cancer, and this moves my focus to how fragile we are as human beings.

I am more aware of kindness, more aware of my surroundings, and have a heightened sense of sharing the love of God on the earth. I listen to Joyce Meyer a lot. In her teachings, she discusses how God looks at our hearts. I have found many instances in the Word to support this.

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 (NASB77)

The unbelievers in our lives, the 'world', may listen to our words about Jesus, but they look at how we act. Knowing this helps me be more diligent at work, kinder in the grocery store, and generally more assertive about controlling my moods and temper.

Cancer may, in the end, consume my flesh, but God has my heart safely in His hands.

 

Loving the unlovely

Do you know people who make you crazy? People who are just mean or seem to be bent on making you look bad. I have lots of experience with people like this. My challenge as a Christian is to love them.

 

So what does that mean to my walk with Jesus? It means I have to be kind, patient, and look for opportunities to get along with them. Sometimes this means saying I am wrong when I am not, saying I am sorry because they perceive I have done something to offend them. Other times, it means standing and taking their anger and accusations quietly without lashing back.

Truthfully, this makes me crazy. I have difficulty understanding why people are so proud. They have not realized that they are someday going to die, and nothing they think right now is going to amount to a hill of beans. Pride, that preening little devil that lives in us all, stands like a guardian on the cave of insecurity inside us all. When we let pride free, we lose the ability to practice love.

I think of Jesus standing before the accusing crowd of Pharisees and Pilate, listening to the nonsense they were all spouting. Jesus did not say a word. What words would you have to rebuke such nonsense? Many times when dealing with people, I have no words. Some folks think I am weak; one person told me I was "milk toast".

But why should I shame my Savior just to look good to a person who is going to die and turn into dust?

Matthew 5:44-46 (NKJV)

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?