Sunday, September 17, 2023

Are you a Permissive Parent

Are you a Permissive Parent: High Love and Low Limits.

Permissive parents use love as their primary style and consider love more important than limits. These parents believe that if they love their child enough, the child will love them so much that things will go smoothly. They also think using attachment and their bond with their child will teach them right from wrong. They spend much time with the child, communicating, negotiating, and reasoning. 

The psychology of a child is primarily ME-centered. Children are not born evil or good, and they are not self-regulating. As they grow, kids learn limits from their parents. Early limitations include bedtimes, eating on a schedule, and playtime. The older the child, the more limits he is capable of. 

Permissive parents believe that love conquers all and sometimes do not consider the inability of the child to understand the benefits of love. Kids are taken care of from birth and perceive this as their right of existence. The parents need to teach that love is not a right but a benefit of acceptable social behavior. 

Permissive moms and dads think their children will return their love with obedience and acceptable behavior. Kids believe that mom and dad love them so much that it will be okay no matter what they do. When children enter school, they are confused and saddened to learn that the world does not love them.

The traits of permissive parenting:

  • Accepting and affirmative, but do not place demands on the child to enforce the child's responsibility for his conduct. 
  • Be tolerant toward the child's wants and impulses, including those of the aggressive ones.
  • Usually, they have trouble saying "no" and setting boundaries and guidelines for their kids. 
  • Tend to be lenient and avoid asserting authority or imposing controls or restrictions. These parents avoid confrontation when possible.
  • Few demands exist for acceptable behavior, like table manners or home responsibilities—very few rules for bedtimes, homework schedules, mealtimes, or TV watching.
  • Allow the children to control their behavior and to make their own decisions. 
  • Discipline is inconsistent, creating problems centering on a child's lack of responsibility, motivation, and self-control. 

Studies have shown that the permissive parenting style has a more negative than positive effect. Children are often impulsive and aggressive and lack independence and personal responsibility. This style often leads to demanding and selfish behavior rather than the child being loving and supportive of others.

Children are often insecure because of the lack of defined boundaries. While the kids have high self-esteem and good social skills, there is often problem behavior and a lack of motivation in school and adult life because the children have not learned to be accountable for their actions. 

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