Practical ways to recognize and managing stress

Mental stress occurs when you are frustrated, angry, or anxious. Stress can happen in a productive situation, like stressing muscles to gain strength, or stress can negatively impact the body and mind. Some pressure is good, improving motivation and productivity. But what can you do when stress elevates to an unhealthy level? What's stressful for one person may not be stressful for another. 

If it causes you to stress, that is enough. Look for ways to manage the stress that is individual to your circumstances. I am a "hands-on Controller."  I get paid good money to serve as an office manager and financial wizard and to ensure profitable operational control. In this role, my stress can be overwhelming. Employees have demands, emails to answer, financial statements to compile and report, bills to be paid, and cash to receive and apply to the customers' accounts. Once, I thought about running down the hall, bouncing off the wall, and knocking myself silly.

Stress can include too many phone calls and emails, meetings that interfere with deadlines, and the physical stress of sitting or standing for an extended period. However, learning to manage stress is a healthier way to meet daily challenges. When facing pressure at work, maintain a sense of humor. Realize that mistakes happen.

 One of the simplest methods is to take periodic breaks. Get up, stretch, and move away from your work area for a few minutes. If your work culture does not have formal breaks,  you can still take short breaks to play a game of solitaire or a word game, anything quick requiring concentration that takes your mind off the problem or situation. Or take a break and remain productive by sorting your mail, cleaning off your desk, or catching up on some filing. These tasks are mental breaks.

Practice deep breathing: sit up straight, inhale deeply, and exhale to the count of 10. Repeat this four or five times. It increases the oxygen in the blood and will refresh you. When the focus is on breathing, your mind will relax. You may come up with a better idea or change your perceptions.

For continuous stress management, exercise regularly. Exercise releases endorphins, which elevate your mood and help promote a sense of well-being. I like to exercise right after work. Exercising is my way to bridge the gap between work and home. Walking lets you relax, releases the workday, and renews your energy for the next set of tasks at home. You can also take an aerobic or yoga class on your way home from work or simply exercise at a gym with good music.

Remember to include laughter in your daily routine. Laughing has positive benefits and is proven to reduce stress. Laughter enables you to be less serious about yourself and lifts your spirits. Laughter can result in more creativity and better problem-solving. I have a dark sense of humor and employ this daily. I have a voodoo doll with my boss's face glued on it and a big hatpin holding it on my bulletin board. If this is not for you, still look for opportunities to laugh. Enjoy a good comedy show or movie; the sillier, the better.

Make time to read. Concentrating takes your mind off the day and helps you to rest. Put the trade journals aside for the best relief and pick up a mystery or romance.

Managing stress is possible. It is essential to move away from the circumstances that promote stress. Socialize regularly with friends. A good dinner with friends, a movie, shopping, playing cards, bowling, or taking a pottery class (or whatever interests you) help maintain a sense of self and accomplishment apart from the workplace. Recognize what your stress inducers are, and use short breaks, laughter, exercise, reading, and time with friends to allow yourself time to recharge.

Parenting Style for Successful Kids

 If you are looking for a way to raise a child who listens and succeeds, try this parenting style. The name sounds gloomy, but it is a tried and true method of child-rearing. It is Authoritative parenting, practicing high love and high limits.

Authoritative parents aim to be both firm and responsive. The goal is to set clear guidelines of behavior in hopes of raising kids who are self-confident, self-motivated, and cooperative.

These parents participate in a give-and-take relationship with their kids. They explain behavior and limits. A bonus: this style works well with both compliant and strong-willed children. This helps kids develop self-reliance, do well in school, and become socially adept.

Steps to Authoritative Parenting:

• Listen to the child's point of view and expresses your point of view. This creates open communication and supports verbal give-and-take.
• Make eye contact while talking to the child. This lets the child know they are listening.
• Promote the child's independence, individuality, and creativity by being sensitive and teaching the child to have a degree of openness in return.
• Decide and define the age-appropriate behavior expected. Clearly explain the standards and boundaries that are firmly set.
• Be consistent in discipline: act, do not make empty threats. One or two of these and kids get the idea.
• Reward good behavior.

 Rewards of Authoritative Parenting:

• Children grow up experiencing safe boundaries.
• Kids are encouraged to question in a mutually respectful environment.
• Kids learn to think for themselves, experiencing personal independence and responsibility. 

Dealing with teen's messy room

Keep your sanity during the teen years and learn the best way to deal with a teen’s messy room. Use this simple trick when your teen’s room resembles a junk yard: “Close the door”.

Honestly, mess does not bother teens. Continually nagging only exhausts you and leads to arguments.

Part of teen development is the need to be independent and exert their individuality. To a teenager, their room is their ’space’ and they interpret a parent’s nagging as a parent trying to control them.

You can try some actions in addition to closing the door to your teenager’s room. However, you have to be ready and firm.

1. Let your teen know the day before you do laundry that his or her clothes need to be in the laundry area. If your teen is not motivated enough to gather dirty clothes, don’t gather them. Having no clean clothes is a great motivator. 
2. When your teen leaves shoes, coats, backpacks or purses on the floor or in the main living area, simply pick these items up and toss them into your teenager’s room. Then close the door. When your teen cannot find his shoes or her purse in the bedroom, your teen will be motivated to organize.
3. Refuse to engage in any arguments concerning the whereabouts of a particular item. Simply respond, “It’s in your room”. While you cannot control your teen’s mess, you can push responsibility back onto your teen to take care of their possessions.

If you feel guilty about throwing items in your teen’s room or not gathering laundry, buy a large laundry basket and a 30-gallon trash can. Place the laundry basket and the trash can inside your teen’s room, close to the door. This will give your teen an opportunity to put this or her dirty clothes together for the laundry. The trashcan is a place for the backpack, purse, or loose shoes and coats that are left in the living area. 

Learning to use paste wax on hardwood floors

I live in a 1940s home with original hardwood floors. I decided to use paste wax because the finish was worn and dull. I have tried liquid wax, but it wears off too fast. In my case, it was less month. I read that paste wax lasts several months, and decided to use paste wax on my hardwood floors.

I did some research and read several terrifying articles about how to prepare the floors and apply the paste wax. I did not want to sand or steel wool anything. And I was not going to apply the paste wax by hand. My house is full hardwood. I could not move out all the furniture. Yet none of the research told me how to get the paste wax out of the can and onto the floor.

I had to devise my own methods. I chose a flip mop for wax application. This has a detachable washable cover and is soft enough to hold the wax. I am too small to move the furniture, and had nowhere to put it anyway since I was doing all the floors.

I used my Mighty Mite floor vacuum (which will suck the paint off the walls) and mopped the floors with my usual cleaner. I do own a Cleaning Machine with buffing attachments, so when the floors dried, I was good to go.

First, I took a small handful of the wax and threw it on the floor. I put the flip mop on the glob of wax, centering the flip mop on top of the paste wax. I moved the flip mop from left to right to work the wax into the soft fabric. Then I applied the paste wax, spreading a thin layer on the floor. I did have to use a rag in the smaller places. It took about an hour to apply the wax throughout the house: two bedrooms, hallway, living room and dining room.

I set the timer for 30 minutes after I finished all the floors. I relaxed outside. When the time was up, I put the buffing pads on my Cleaning Machine and began buffing the first room I waxed. If you get the wax on too thick, the buffing pads will fly off the machine. I learned this.

I continued to buff and put the pads back on until the entire house was buffed. I did use the polisher pads a few hours later and again the next day. It takes about two days for the paste wax to cure.  I had to go back to the places where I put the wax on too thick over the next two days. So be careful when spreading the wax.

The next coating will go on with a Swiffer.  I am thinking the sturdy paper will be more porous and apply the paste wax better.

The floors look very good. The entire process took about two and one half hours. It was not terrifying. I didn’t need sanding and mineral spirits. I just needed paste wax, an applicator, and a buffer. 

God disarms me

Have you ever stopped in your tracks, realizing you are full of yourself? Our knowledge, our success, our achievements-these make us feel so proud and in control. Then, in a moment, we stop and realize we are not yielding to God, rather trying to make Him yield to us. Holding fast to the rudder of our destiny, all the while God is whispering “Let go”.

God disarms me.

Within my heart are many ways,

Each tumbles.

And over each is only One

Abiding peace, smooth steps of standing

Held fast and safe.

Revealed, this pride and jealousy and judgment:

The Word healed my blindness

Cut deep the weave of web that held my sin.

It burst forth, force, spilling onto the floor

So I could see.

Shame has gripped me

Realizing how I have filtered the Hand of God

Gripping it to guide, bend it to my will-

God would not, and still

His love remains.

Right now, I cannot lift my eyes to look at His loveliness

So sad, horrified, and shamed by the deceit I promoted.

I have done such damage to His plan

I cannot undo my hard thoughts and hard words

They hang in the past, billowing into my present.

I do know God, His true goodness

I feel I have taken advantage of His mercy

I can only lay, face down in His presence, begging mercy

I know He loves me always

I sorrow because I have misused the Great Love

I pray for strength to stand firm and not do it again.

God knows my heart. He remembers I am dust. I am reminded

That all I know, I want, I see, is but a wanton wisp of fleeting flesh

Fading in the light of eternity.