Life happens as we breathe

Enjoy every day in your life. Smile often, and look for the good. Our life is like a flash of light, burning bright, then gone. 

From breath to breath we are born and die.
First flashing as a star, shining with every promise,
Then settling into orbit, steady into life as breath exhales.
We turn, and what we leave is what we bring
Between the breaths.

Ecclesiastes 3 begins: There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. In this book, Solomon explores the meaning of life. By the end of chapter 12, Solomon understands that the lures and adventures of life alone are  meaningless and shares, "Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."

I wrote this poem to read at my brother's memorial. My brother fell off the dock where he worked and hit his head. It was a sudden passing.

God's Word Became Real

God's Word is alive-it did not dry with the ink. Some Christians believe that the Word cannot be heard or understood based on individual verses, yet God speaks to the heart through a verse or chapter.

I have been perplexed lately about the disturbances I have felt in my heart. I listen to others talk and hear their ideas concerning leading people to the Lord and how they believe they should live. All are good, but something is unsettling to me.

I have been praying and seeking God about this. I did not know if I was missing something, believing falsely, or what was going on. I began to look up the word 'reasoning' because this seems to be happening in the conversations. And, in my Christian walk, I do not count on reasoning but simply believing God.

John 8:47 (KJV) He that is of God heareth God's words: ye, therefore, hear them not, because ye are not of God. I read John 8:47, and this helped me a lot. Based on my own experience with Jesus, it was not arguments or justifications, but the overwhelming presence of God and the realization that this was the truth that brought me to salvation.

During the 70s, the "Jesus Movement" began. Many of my friends were saved, and we talked about their experiences. I was not moved and did not feel a great need to 'find Jesus. I was working on a poem about the origins of creation and asked a woman I worked with, a pastor's wife, if I could come and speak with her and her husband about some questions I had about descriptions in the Bible
. We talked for a long time about the giants in the land and some aspects of what the Word said about creation. As I left, the pastor suggested I read the book of John.

Not knowing the Bible but remembering the word "John," I got out the Catholic Bible my mom had given me when I was married. I opened it, found John 1, and began to read. This is what I read, and this is what happened.

In the beginning, was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God...and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. John 1:1-14(NKJV)

Agnostic eyes read these words.

My brain translating concepts into thoughts:

Flowing electricity

Through the fortifications of all I knew.

Stunned, I stared at lilac walls,

Laced with the afternoon sun.

I sat, looking at the big book in my hand,

My brain clicking internal binary codes,

Programming inroads

Through disconnected memory files

And suddenly,

Organized sense awoke.

A veil was lifted:

I gasped, "I'm saved."

Practical ways to recognize and managing stress

Mental stress occurs when you are frustrated, angry, or anxious. Stress can happen in a productive situation, like stressing muscles to gain strength, or stress can negatively impact the body and mind. Some pressure is good, improving motivation and productivity. But what can you do when stress elevates to an unhealthy level? What's stressful for one person may not be stressful for another. 

If it causes you to stress, that is enough. Look for ways to manage the stress that is individual to your circumstances. I am a "hands-on Controller."  I get paid good money to serve as an office manager and financial wizard and to ensure profitable operational control. In this role, my stress can be overwhelming. Employees have demands, emails to answer, financial statements to compile and report, bills to be paid, and cash to receive and apply to the customers' accounts. Once, I thought about running down the hall, bouncing off the wall, and knocking myself silly.

Stress can include too many phone calls and emails, meetings that interfere with deadlines, and the physical stress of sitting or standing for an extended period. However, learning to manage stress is a healthier way to meet daily challenges. When facing pressure at work, maintain a sense of humor. Realize that mistakes happen.

 One of the simplest methods is to take periodic breaks. Get up, stretch, and move away from your work area for a few minutes. If your work culture does not have formal breaks,  you can still take short breaks to play a game of solitaire or a word game, anything quick requiring concentration that takes your mind off the problem or situation. Or take a break and remain productive by sorting your mail, cleaning off your desk, or catching up on some filing. These tasks are mental breaks.

Practice deep breathing: sit up straight, inhale deeply, and exhale to the count of 10. Repeat this four or five times. It increases the oxygen in the blood and will refresh you. When the focus is on breathing, your mind will relax. You may come up with a better idea or change your perceptions.

For continuous stress management, exercise regularly. Exercise releases endorphins, which elevate your mood and help promote a sense of well-being. I like to exercise right after work. Exercising is my way to bridge the gap between work and home. Walking lets you relax, releases the workday, and renews your energy for the next set of tasks at home. You can also take an aerobic or yoga class on your way home from work or simply exercise at a gym with good music.

Remember to include laughter in your daily routine. Laughing has positive benefits and is proven to reduce stress. Laughter enables you to be less serious about yourself and lifts your spirits. Laughter can result in more creativity and better problem-solving. I have a dark sense of humor and employ this daily. I have a voodoo doll with my boss's face glued on it and a big hatpin holding it on my bulletin board. If this is not for you, still look for opportunities to laugh. Enjoy a good comedy show or movie; the sillier, the better.

Make time to read. Concentrating takes your mind off the day and helps you to rest. Put the trade journals aside for the best relief and pick up a mystery or romance.

Managing stress is possible. It is essential to move away from the circumstances that promote stress. Socialize regularly with friends. A good dinner with friends, a movie, shopping, playing cards, bowling, or taking a pottery class (or whatever interests you) help maintain a sense of self and accomplishment apart from the workplace. Recognize what your stress inducers are, and use short breaks, laughter, exercise, reading, and time with friends to allow yourself time to recharge.

Parenting Style for Successful Kids

 If you are looking for a way to raise a child who listens and succeeds, try this parenting style. The name sounds gloomy, but it is a tried and true method of child-rearing. It is Authoritative parenting, practicing high love and high limits.

Authoritative parents aim to be both firm and responsive. The goal is to set clear guidelines of behavior in hopes of raising kids who are self-confident, self-motivated, and cooperative.

These parents participate in a give-and-take relationship with their kids. They explain behavior and limits. A bonus: this style works well with both compliant and strong-willed children. This helps kids develop self-reliance, do well in school, and become socially adept.

Steps to Authoritative Parenting:

• Listen to the child's point of view and expresses your point of view. This creates open communication and supports verbal give-and-take.
• Make eye contact while talking to the child. This lets the child know they are listening.
• Promote the child's independence, individuality, and creativity by being sensitive and teaching the child to have a degree of openness in return.
• Decide and define the age-appropriate behavior expected. Clearly explain the standards and boundaries that are firmly set.
• Be consistent in discipline: act, do not make empty threats. One or two of these and kids get the idea.
• Reward good behavior.

 Rewards of Authoritative Parenting:

• Children grow up experiencing safe boundaries.
• Kids are encouraged to question in a mutually respectful environment.
• Kids learn to think for themselves, experiencing personal independence and responsibility. 

Dealing with teen's messy room

Keep your sanity during the teen years and learn the best way to deal with a teen’s messy room. Use this simple trick when your teen’s room resembles a junk yard: “Close the door”.

Honestly, mess does not bother teens. Continually nagging only exhausts you and leads to arguments.

Part of teen development is the need to be independent and exert their individuality. To a teenager, their room is their ’space’ and they interpret a parent’s nagging as a parent trying to control them.

You can try some actions in addition to closing the door to your teenager’s room. However, you have to be ready and firm.

1. Let your teen know the day before you do laundry that his or her clothes need to be in the laundry area. If your teen is not motivated enough to gather dirty clothes, don’t gather them. Having no clean clothes is a great motivator. 
2. When your teen leaves shoes, coats, backpacks or purses on the floor or in the main living area, simply pick these items up and toss them into your teenager’s room. Then close the door. When your teen cannot find his shoes or her purse in the bedroom, your teen will be motivated to organize.
3. Refuse to engage in any arguments concerning the whereabouts of a particular item. Simply respond, “It’s in your room”. While you cannot control your teen’s mess, you can push responsibility back onto your teen to take care of their possessions.

If you feel guilty about throwing items in your teen’s room or not gathering laundry, buy a large laundry basket and a 30-gallon trash can. Place the laundry basket and the trash can inside your teen’s room, close to the door. This will give your teen an opportunity to put this or her dirty clothes together for the laundry. The trashcan is a place for the backpack, purse, or loose shoes and coats that are left in the living area.