Parenting Style for Successful Kids

 If you are looking for a way to raise a child who listens and succeeds, try this parenting style. The name sounds gloomy, but it is a tried and true method of child-rearing. It is Authoritative parenting, practicing high love and high limits.

Authoritative parents aim to be both firm and responsive. The goal is to set clear guidelines of behavior in hopes of raising kids who are self-confident, self-motivated, and cooperative.

These parents participate in a give-and-take relationship with their kids. They explain behavior and limits. A bonus: this style works well with both compliant and strong-willed children. This helps kids develop self-reliance, do well in school, and become socially adept.

Steps to Authoritative Parenting:

• Listen to the child's point of view and expresses your point of view. This creates open communication and supports verbal give-and-take.
• Make eye contact while talking to the child. This lets the child know they are listening.
• Promote the child's independence, individuality, and creativity by being sensitive and teaching the child to have a degree of openness in return.
• Decide and define the age-appropriate behavior expected. Clearly explain the standards and boundaries that are firmly set.
• Be consistent in discipline: act, do not make empty threats. One or two of these and kids get the idea.
• Reward good behavior.

 Rewards of Authoritative Parenting:

• Children grow up experiencing safe boundaries.
• Kids are encouraged to question in a mutually respectful environment.
• Kids learn to think for themselves, experiencing personal independence and responsibility. 

Dealing with teen's messy room

Keep your sanity during the teen years and learn the best way to deal with a teen’s messy room. Use this simple trick when your teen’s room resembles a junk yard: “Close the door”.

Honestly, mess does not bother teens. Continually nagging only exhausts you and leads to arguments.

Part of teen development is the need to be independent and exert their individuality. To a teenager, their room is their ’space’ and they interpret a parent’s nagging as a parent trying to control them.

You can try some actions in addition to closing the door to your teenager’s room. However, you have to be ready and firm.

1. Let your teen know the day before you do laundry that his or her clothes need to be in the laundry area. If your teen is not motivated enough to gather dirty clothes, don’t gather them. Having no clean clothes is a great motivator. 
2. When your teen leaves shoes, coats, backpacks or purses on the floor or in the main living area, simply pick these items up and toss them into your teenager’s room. Then close the door. When your teen cannot find his shoes or her purse in the bedroom, your teen will be motivated to organize.
3. Refuse to engage in any arguments concerning the whereabouts of a particular item. Simply respond, “It’s in your room”. While you cannot control your teen’s mess, you can push responsibility back onto your teen to take care of their possessions.

If you feel guilty about throwing items in your teen’s room or not gathering laundry, buy a large laundry basket and a 30-gallon trash can. Place the laundry basket and the trash can inside your teen’s room, close to the door. This will give your teen an opportunity to put this or her dirty clothes together for the laundry. The trashcan is a place for the backpack, purse, or loose shoes and coats that are left in the living area. 

Learning to use paste wax on hardwood floors

I live in a 1940s home with original hardwood floors. I decided to use paste wax because the finish was worn and dull. I have tried liquid wax, but it wears off too fast. In my case, it was less month. I read that paste wax lasts several months, and decided to use paste wax on my hardwood floors.

I did some research and read several terrifying articles about how to prepare the floors and apply the paste wax. I did not want to sand or steel wool anything. And I was not going to apply the paste wax by hand. My house is full hardwood. I could not move out all the furniture. Yet none of the research told me how to get the paste wax out of the can and onto the floor.

I had to devise my own methods. I chose a flip mop for wax application. This has a detachable washable cover and is soft enough to hold the wax. I am too small to move the furniture, and had nowhere to put it anyway since I was doing all the floors.

I used my Mighty Mite floor vacuum (which will suck the paint off the walls) and mopped the floors with my usual cleaner. I do own a Cleaning Machine with buffing attachments, so when the floors dried, I was good to go.

First, I took a small handful of the wax and threw it on the floor. I put the flip mop on the glob of wax, centering the flip mop on top of the paste wax. I moved the flip mop from left to right to work the wax into the soft fabric. Then I applied the paste wax, spreading a thin layer on the floor. I did have to use a rag in the smaller places. It took about an hour to apply the wax throughout the house: two bedrooms, hallway, living room and dining room.

I set the timer for 30 minutes after I finished all the floors. I relaxed outside. When the time was up, I put the buffing pads on my Cleaning Machine and began buffing the first room I waxed. If you get the wax on too thick, the buffing pads will fly off the machine. I learned this.

I continued to buff and put the pads back on until the entire house was buffed. I did use the polisher pads a few hours later and again the next day. It takes about two days for the paste wax to cure.  I had to go back to the places where I put the wax on too thick over the next two days. So be careful when spreading the wax.

The next coating will go on with a Swiffer.  I am thinking the sturdy paper will be more porous and apply the paste wax better.

The floors look very good. The entire process took about two and one half hours. It was not terrifying. I didn’t need sanding and mineral spirits. I just needed paste wax, an applicator, and a buffer. 

God disarms me

Have you ever stopped in your tracks, realizing you are full of yourself? Our knowledge, our success, our achievements-these make us feel so proud and in control. Then, in a moment, we stop and realize we are not yielding to God, rather trying to make Him yield to us. Holding fast to the rudder of our destiny, all the while God is whispering “Let go”.

God disarms me.

Within my heart are many ways,

Each tumbles.

And over each is only One

Abiding peace, smooth steps of standing

Held fast and safe.

Revealed, this pride and jealousy and judgment:

The Word healed my blindness

Cut deep the weave of web that held my sin.

It burst forth, force, spilling onto the floor

So I could see.

Shame has gripped me

Realizing how I have filtered the Hand of God

Gripping it to guide, bend it to my will-

God would not, and still

His love remains.

Right now, I cannot lift my eyes to look at His loveliness

So sad, horrified, and shamed by the deceit I promoted.

I have done such damage to His plan

I cannot undo my hard thoughts and hard words

They hang in the past, billowing into my present.

I do know God, His true goodness

I feel I have taken advantage of His mercy

I can only lay, face down in His presence, begging mercy

I know He loves me always

I sorrow because I have misused the Great Love

I pray for strength to stand firm and not do it again.

God knows my heart. He remembers I am dust. I am reminded

That all I know, I want, I see, is but a wanton wisp of fleeting flesh

Fading in the light of eternity.

The downside of energy drinks

How often do you reach for an energy drink to increase alertness? While energy drinks help during tasks that require focus, regular consumption of energy drinks pose health risks and sudden death in some individuals. When we choose energy drinks as a substitute for sleep, we injure our bodies and can develop long-term health problems. Research and company product analysis reveals the average teen and young adult consumes two to three 16-ounce to 24-ounce servings daily.

While parents recoil at the thought of young teens having coffee with breakfast, permitting energy drinks causes excess caffeine consumption and leads to a host of additional health issues. It is important to understand that the instant alertness from an energy drink comes from excess amounts of caffeine and sugar. An eight-ounce cup of coffee contains 100 milligrams of caffeine, as does eight ounces of the average energy drink. However, the average size for an energy drink is 16 to 24 ounces, containing 200 to 300 milligrams of caffeine per can.

When the caffeine content in the energy drink is combined with sugar, (an average of 15 teaspoons, or one-third cup, per 16 ounce serving), trace B vitamins, and carnitine (an amino acid purportedly pumps up endurance and promotes fat burning. Most people only need extra carnitine if deficient (which is rare) and more than 3 grams a day can lead to stomach upset and possibly seizures. The combination of ingredients in energy drinks can lead to high blood pressure, depression, and cardiac arrhythmia. As of 2014, 34 cases of deaths and 56 serious health events linked directly to energy drink consumption have been reported by the Food and Drug Administration. This may seem like a small number, but consider the unreported cases of high blood pressure complications, anxiety, cardio arrhythmia, and depression that have roots in over consumptions of energy drinks.

For a review of popular energy drinks by Consumer Reports click here.

High blood pressure affects the ability of the arteries to open and close. When your blood pressure rises, the muscles in the artery wall respond by pushing back harder. This enlarges the arterial muscles and makes the artery walls thicker. Thicker arteries decrease the amount of blood that can pass through the arteries.  Over time, high blood pressure leads to heart failure, kidney failure, stroke, dementia and more. For a full list click here. 

Depression associated with energy drink consumption is caused by a rise in the brain chemical norepinephrine. As the nerepinephrine increases, there are enhanced negative feelings, feelings of distrust, and increasing the desire to fight or flee from unpleasant situations. In addition, anxiety increases. “In previous research, we found that energy drink consumption increased blood pressure in healthy young adults,” explained first author and Mayo Clinic cardiology fellow Anna Svatikova. “We now show that the increases in blood pressure are accompanied by increases in norepinephrine, a stress hormone chemical, and this could predispose an increased risk of cardiac events — even in healthy people.”

Heart rhythm problems (heart arrhythmias) occur when the electrical impulses that coordinates your heartbeats do not work properly, causing your heart to beat too fast, too slow or irregularly. The excess caffeine and sugar in the energy drinks contribute to abnormal heart rhythm.

Ask yourself if the energy drink is really worth the risk. There are so many healthier ways to increase and sustain your energy. Practice getting 7-8 hours sleep each night, improve your diet my including lean protein and smart carbs like almonds, cheese and Greek yogurt. While working, at home or on the job, take a short walk (5-10 minutes) about every hour and a half. Take naps when you can (there is nothing like a 20 minutes power nap.

Get creative, get more energy and improve your overall health by ditching the instant energy and focusing on renewable, sustainable energy.