Do you Parent with strict discipline?

 If your parenting style is strict and unbending, you could be Authoritarian: Low Love and High Limits.

Authoritarian parents use limits as their primary style, considering limits more important than love and relationships. They use external control to teach right from wrong and act quickly when a discipline problem occurs.

The authoritarian style views love as obedience, requiring strict adherence to structures and rules to show that love. The parenting style is "old school" and operates on the premise of  "Spare the rod and spoil the child."

Traits of the Authoritarian Parenting Style:

• Hold the child to an absolute standard.
• Values obedience and is not prone to give and take.
• Emphasis is on strict family rules, often referred to as military-style parenting.
• They can be restrictive and rigid, demanding absolute obedience, often in a 'do as I say, not as I do' parenting style. Punishment is frequently harsh and punitive and can be perceived as abusive, both physically and emotionally.
• Exercise a high degree of psychological control over their children, harming their natural growth and maturation.
• Expect their children to accept their judgments, values, and opinions respectfully. Style - Defined:

Consequently, children are usually quick to react and rarely get their parents to negotiate. These children perform moderately well in school and do not usually display problem behavior, but they have poorer social skills, lower self-esteem, and higher levels of depression.

Authoritarian parents love their children. They want obedience and value this obedience over understanding children's impulsive nature. To them, it is more important that the kid be controlled and well-behaved. The fact that the parents care enough to constantly monitor and curtail a child's playful, "me"-centered nature proves their love. However, in the authoritative pursuit of good behavior, the creative and happy nature of the children is often ignored.

Are you a Permissive Parent?

Are you a Permissive Parent: High Love and Low Limits?

Permissive parents use love as their primary style and consider love more important than limits. These parents believe that if they love their child enough, the child will love them so much that things will go smoothly. They also think using attachment and their bond with their child will teach them right from wrong. They spend much time with the child, communicating, negotiating, and reasoning. 

The psychology of a child is primarily ME-centered. Children are not born evil or good, and they are not self-regulating. As they grow, kids learn limits from their parents. Early limitations include bedtimes, eating on a schedule, and playtime. The older the child, the more limits he is capable of. 

Permissive parents believe that love conquers all and sometimes do not consider the child's inability to understand its benefits. Kids are taken care of from birth and perceive this as their right of existence. Parents must teach that love is not a right but a benefit of acceptable social behavior. 

Permissive parents think their children will return their love with obedience and acceptable behavior. Kids believe that mom and dad love them so much that it will be okay no matter what they do. When children enter school, they are confused and saddened to learn that the world does not love them.

The traits of permissive parenting:

• Accepting and affirmative, but do not place demands on the child to enforce the child's responsibility for his conduct. 
• Be tolerant of the child's wants and impulses, including those of the aggressive ones.
• Usually, they have trouble saying "no" and setting boundaries and guidelines for their kids. 
• These parents tend to be lenient and avoid asserting authority or imposing controls or restrictions. They avoid confrontation when possible.
• Few demands exist for acceptable behavior, like table manners or home responsibilities—there are few rules for bedtimes, homework schedules, mealtimes, or TV watching.
• Allow the children to control their behavior and to make their own decisions. 
• Discipline is inconsistent, creating problems centering on a child's lack of responsibility, motivation, and self-control. 

Studies have shown that the permissive parenting style has a more negative than positive effect. Children are often impulsive and aggressive, and lack independence and personal responsibility. This style frequently leads to demanding and selfish behavior rather than the child being loving and supportive of others.

Children are often insecure because of the lack of defined boundaries. While the kids have high self-esteem and good social skills, there is often problem behavior and a lack of motivation in school and adult life because the children have not learned to be accountable for their actions. 

How did you meet the Lord?

 

God is ever-present, looking and longing for those who will come to Him. (2 Chronicles 16:9) How did you catch God’s eye? Were there times of trouble and grief, or were you struck by the truth that God exists?

I met the Lord during the Jesus movement in the late 1970s. My friends were “saved,” and I thought they were stupid. I didn’t not believe in God; I just couldn’t see the need for it in my life. 

I am a poet, and I was working on a poem about the creation of the earth, some hippie notion of Father Moon and Mother Sun. I remembered the Bible talked about giants who walked the land, and, in curiosity, I asked a woman who was a preacher’s wife if I could come and speak with her husband.

I went to their home and discussed what the Bible says about the giants and other things. As I left, her husband said if I wanted to know more, I should read the first book of John. 

 A few days passed. While cooking dinner one evening, I remembered what the preacher said. I found the Bible my mom gave me when I got married. I looked for the first book of John and opened the Bible to John 1:1: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”.

The power and Spirit of God entered my heart and consumed my mind. It was an unseen bright light shining through me. I knew this was the truth. And that is how, 47 years ago, I met the Lord. I have never regretted one day of this life.

Halloween-Last minute ideas for a backyard bash

Celebrate Halloween with a backyard bash. Gather your costumed friends for a party that includes a bonfire, smoking punch, snacks, and games. 

Build the bonfire

If you do not have a firepit, build a bonfire pit safe from the house.
Dig a shallow hole large enough to contain the fire.
Set two medium-sized logs side by side in the middle of the hole.
Place newspapers, hay, or wood pieces in the spot for kindling.
Light a match and carefully place it in the middle to start the kindling.
Place another log across the top of the fire when the kindling has an intense flame.
When the top log catches fire, your bonfire is good to go. Feed the fire regularly throughout the party. Be sure to douse it with water when the party ends.

Halloween Punch

Make your favorite punch and encase it with dry ice to create a spooky atmosphere. Watch the video below for the how-to.

Prepare for ghostly games

The Mummy

Break into teams of three or four. Each team will have a toilet paper roll and choose one person to be the mummy. Each team has five or ten minutes (whichever you decide) to use the entire toilet paper roll. The winners were the team with the fastest time and the most creative mummy. Prizes can be candy, popcorn balls, or a round of applause.

Eat the Donut

Use tree limbs or a clothesline between two trees and hang donuts using string. Donuts should be slightly higher than the average teen. Choose teams of two and tie them together at the waist. Each team tries to eat the donut without using their hands or arms—the first team to eat the donut wins. If a donut falls to the ground, the team is eliminated. 

Blindfold Drum Finder

Choose one person to be the drummer. The drum can be a pot or hollow log- anything that resonates. 

The game begins when the drummer drums once. Each player is blindfolded, and the drummer chooses a spot away from the bonfire. The blindfolded teens try to find the drummer, who can make a sound every few minutes. The game continues until each teen has found the drummer. If found too quickly, the drummer may change location. 

How to Use Dry Ice with Halloween Punch 

Quiet Beauty of Fall Morning

Quiet beauty: 

Silent sun shines softly bright
On the waning green of trees about to winter.
Penetrating the leaves
And outlining each vein.
This whispering sun caresses the grass.
With fine filters through the fence cracks,
It gently covers the house
And slips gracefully through the moss.

A fragile day, this end of summer.
The earthy breeze and tender sun
So carefully preserve the warmth.
A tended hearth.

Portend of the coming quiet beauty
Of another season.