The secrets in aging

Aging is beautiful

Aging is what we do as long as we live. I don't really 'know' how old I am. I am light on my feet, filled with smiles, and mostly pressing forward towards the future. Oh, I do get frustrated, life happens, but there is still an air of excitement.

Aging's Secret

Aging is coveted by small children,

Tall enough to ride, or walk, or simply reach.

Then reaching seems easy and aging turns

Mastering math, catching a ball or boy, and beauty,

Aging is distracted by desire, dreams, goals,

Lost in achieving, gaining, raising kids,

Regaining momentum in attainment, and watching babies

Turn to small children.

Then somewhere in the mix, age becomes a distance,

Disregarded, and conversations skip.

Unseen, unknown, aging is creeping always on the young,

Bending them into worn wisdom, advanced by small children.

Cycling, aging, beauty, achievement, master, wisdom

And a small sly smile.

Worry sneaks quietly into our heart

 

Sometimes worry sneaks in before you know it. I have been going through a stressful period; don’t we all have these times in life? I came back from vacation in Florida and had some little red bumps on my legs. My doctor sent me to a dermatologist. Turned out, I had squamus cancer on my face and basil cancer on my legs.

I had to go weekly for four weeks to have my skin dug, scraped, and sewn. I found out I am a bleeder, so Waa, this was tough. Then there is the concern of how to pay for all this. Add to this the need to do major and minor repairs on my home. My home had its 72 birthday this year.

I became negative in my thinking, worrying about finances and repairs and cancer. The words of my mouth were complaints and whining. This Saturday I was getting ready to visit my brother for his birthday. I knew he would ask me how things were, and I was rehearsing my problems.

Suddenly the Holy Spirit reminded me “What about God?” This hit me like a brick. How could I go to my brother’s house and complain, when I serve such a mighty God. I realized that over the past few weeks I had let worry creep in like crabgrass. It was choking me and I did not even notice it.

I had to apologize to God right then. I asked Him to create in me a contrite heart and a right spirit. I asked him to restore my salt so that I would not lose my ability to praise God and be a witness with my life.

I felt like going to every single person I whined to and apologize. However, this would not serve a purpose. Instead, I have purposed in my heart to be more watchful. The Word says in life there will be trouble, but God delivers the righteous from them all.

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:13-14 (NIV2011)

 

Cancer is changing my heart

So maybe I will go in another direction with Christian Living. How about personal experiences? Right now, I am going through surgeries for skin cancers. I had squamous cell carcinoma and basil cell carcinoma. The doctor removed the squamous and one of the basil cell spots.

Cancer is always scary. I found myself looking to Jesus for strength. I realized that I am not ready to die, I still have some dreams and hopes, and I have sweet grandkids. This is my second round of cancer, and this moves my focus to how fragile we are as human beings.

I am more aware of kindness, more aware of my surroundings, and have a heightened sense of sharing the love of God on the earth. I listen to Joyce Meyer a lot. In her teachings, she discusses how God looks at our hearts. I have found many instances in the Word to support this.

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 (NASB77)

The unbelievers in our lives, the ‘world’, may listen to our words about Jesus, but they look at how we act. Knowing this helps me to be diligent at work, kinder in the grocery store, and generally more adamant about controlling my moods and temper.

Cancer may, in the end, consume my flesh, but God has my heart safely in His hands.

 

Loving the unlovely

Do you know people who make you crazy? People who are just mean, or seem to be bent on making you look bad. I have lots of experience with people like this. My challenge as a Christian is to love them.

 

So what does that mean to my walk with Jesus? It means I have to be kind, patient, and look for opportunities to get along with them. Sometimes this means saying I am wrong when I am not, saying I am sorry because they perceive I have done something to offend them. Other times it means standing and taking their anger and accusations quietly without lashing back.

Truthfully, this makes me crazy. I have difficulty understanding why people are so proud. I believe they have not realized that they are someday going to die and nothing they think right now is going to amount to a hill of beans. I believe that pride, that preening little devil that lives in us all, stands like a guardian on the cave of insecurity inside us all. When we let pride free, we lose the ability to practice love.

I think of Jesus standing before the accusing crowd of Pharisees and Pilot, listening to the nonsense they were all spouting. Jesus did not say a word. What words would you have to rebuke such nonsense? Many times when dealing with people I have no words. Some folks think I am weak, one person told me I was “milk toast’.

But why should I shame my Savior just to look good to a person who is going to die and turn into dust?

Matthew 5:44-46 (NKJV)

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?

Sometimes being a Christian is hard work

No matter what happens in my life God is there with wisdom and comfort.

(radicallychristian.com)

Yesterday was a trying day at work. I was asked to prove I did not make a mistake, that I was not “wrong”. My pride pounded in my chest, my anger flared-the Holy Spirit counseled “do the work, see if you made an error. Swallowing my pride (this is my private battle), I did the work, and low and behold, I was correct.

People do not always believe we are who we say we are. As Christians, it is our job to ‘do the work’, to let our hearts and personalities be open to God, changed to reflect His glory.

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:13-14 (NIV)

Strength in Psalms

I love the Psalms. I get such comfort and strength as I read and think: This was a man, just like me, limited and subject to the human nature. However, David and other psalmists loved God with all their heart, to be able to realize God’s power and mercy towards our lives.

Psalm 7:1-17 (NCV)

LORD my God, I trust in you for protection. Save me and rescue me from those who are chasing me, Otherwise, like a lion they will tear me apart. They will rip me to pieces, and no one can save me. LORD my God, what have I done? Have my hands done something wrong? Have I done wrong to my friend or stolen without reason from my enemy? If I have, let my enemy chase me and capture me. Let him trample me into the dust and bury me in the ground. (When I read this, I do fear a little. I wonder at David’s confidence in his relationship with God)

LORD, rise up in your anger; stand up against my enemies’ anger. Get up and demand fairness. Gather the nations around you and rule them from above. LORD, judge the people. LORD, defend me because I am right, because I have done no wrong, God Most High.

God, you do what is right. You know our thoughts and feelings. Stop those wicked actions done by evil people, and help those who do what is right. God protects me like a shield; he saves those whose hearts are right. God judges by what is right, and God is always ready to punish the wicked. (I pause here and pray for those whose hearts are still dark; I don’t want anyone to suffer God’s punishment)

If they do not change their lives, God will sharpen his sword; he will string his bow and take aim. He has prepared his deadly weapons; he has made his flaming arrows.

There are people who think up evil and plan trouble and tell lies. They dig a hole to trap others, but they will fall into it themselves. They will get themselves into trouble; the violence they cause will hurt only themselves. (This comforts me. Sometimes I wonder why people are cruel; this reminds me that human nature has always been like this)

I praise the LORD because he does what is right. I sing praises to the LORD Most High.

How can God not be real

I wonder when I hear people say "I don't believe in God". I ask what they believe in, and most cannot say. But some respond "Oh, a great being", "a higher power", or, sadder still, "nothing, when you die you die." Some say "How can God be real, with all the suffering in the world?" 

Open your eyes, sometimes I say. How can God not be real? We breathe, we hope, we aspire. And for what, if there is nothing? But until people experience this good grace for themselves, they cannot know. And some are so shelled with pride, they cannot reach a thought that's not their own. 

I pray for them, that their eyes are opened, their hearts softened, and their pride abandoned. 

God is great: imposing, noble, heroic, splendid

Some do not believe. I wonder

How can His presence be denied?

What thoughts do they possess

That leads them through the dark place

Where God is real, but they are blind?

Where is their laughter?

Where is their hope?

Living in one dimension

Straight-line birth to death

Tick marks along the line of life events

Easter Joy

 

The cross stands, empty, in the highlights of dawn,

A faint shadow falls upon the bloody ground,

A crude crown lay abandon, the marks of His body still in the dust.

In the dark and silent cave the

Son rises, sits, still swaddled.

He removes the rags of death and smiles.

Standing triumphant

Commands the stone to move

And walks into the bright morning.

This is why He came, why He died;

To conquer death,

Remove the gardens curse,

Leading the way to the tree of Life.

Consider Him who is faithful

The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.  It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Lamentations 3:25-27 (ESV)

Consider Him who is faithful.

I turn dreams to heavy things,

Demanding, like a child.

I lose sight of vision

Staring at the present reality

As if it was the only one.

I seek the Lord for answers

Already given in the vision world

Of faith and certainty. 

Oh faithless heart, distraction of my sight!

My soul grows faint in battle

With my soddened self.

I cry for mercy, relief from such a foe. 

Mercy always comes. And such a sweet face.

The Lord smiles.

My soul finds rest in the gleam of His eye.

I stand again to move through one more day,

Just present reality,

And reach the vision set in trust for me. 

Then there will be one more.

Legacy

I will not let my life

suspend on quiet threads.

Life is remembrance,

the immortal chance

to leave a wisdom,

and improve the place I stand

for those who come after

a thousand years, and time worn

stones, the names are smooth

where they lie now, and where then,

and who remembers, or is better

for their birth.

Some advance the generations,

teaching  stories that contain

seeds of consolation, wheels

and turn.

But my gift is not a grave

and who I am is not the thing

But that I have some insight

and I lived the sorrows

others will have.

To them I give the consolation

that life is only death

but between lies laughter, and actions of joy. 

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16 (ESV)