How to rest, and make the most of it

Sunday morning. A day of rest? Right now, there is no such thing. I am committed on all fronts. Working all week, sitting at a desk, fighting fires and listening to problems and issues. And crunching numbers. Mentally, it’s exhausting. But I try to mix in a lot of smiles and humor. At work, they think my sense of humor is “sick”, or “dark”, and they are correct. Like the other day, I had listened to and solved about a hundred problems, the phone was ringing, the computer was slow, and I felt frustration creeping up my back. I asked one of the ladies to go down the hall and close the door at the end of the hall. I told her I was going to run as fast as I could down the hall and knock myself silly, because I would get fired if I shot Tequila. Seemed like a plan to me.

God’s rest is not like my idea of rest. Rest to me is mindless TV watching, or sitting outside staring at the sky. God’s rest is trusting Him that everything is going to be all right. There is an internal battle for God’s rest. How am I going to get it all done? How am I going to pay that bill, or find time to read or exercise? How am I……? But, the truth is stepping back and waiting. Get enough sleep, pray, and do what I can. God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above that which I ask or expect.

So I rest in the promise. Sure, I still work, I clean my house, I walk the dog, I pay the bills, I watch TV, I pray, I read. I keep moving forward. But when worry scratches at the door, with those chalkboard nails, I hum a tune. Or sometimes I sing out loud, or dance with the dog. I change the course of the thought. And I remember that God is good, all the time.

Facing the Challenges of Life

I have challenges in my life, times of trouble, sometimes I am afraid. I believe God is good, all the time. So I choose to hope, I choose to believe. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself, I am no one really, another soul.

I am misled by my own passions, deceived by my desires, and I am inpatient. A Bozo, really. But isn't that why Jesus died?

Not so that I could be "holy" and walk around in a cloud. Not so I could sit around with others and talk about the decline of the world. But that I could bring hope. I know that we are bad and good, we do the best we can.

Hope never fails.

I hear the Lord, He calls to me,

"Believe Me one more day,

I'm on your side,

I'm in your heart,

I won't turn you away.

Pick up the laughter,

hold the joy,

Embrace the dream, and stay.

Grab hold the hope,

Protect your thoughts,

For now I make the way.

Like streams

Where none have been before,

Where desert roses bloom,

I am Creator, pure and good.

The way will be clear soon."

What is Woe

The Israelites stayed in the desert because they refused to make the decision to walk by faith, and not by sight.

Struggling in this sifting sand

with no firm ground below,

Among this crowd of nomads,

wondering in woe.

Wandering within these walls

of blue and white hot light,

Days spent walking forward,

Resting quieter each night.

Finding bread each morning

spread across the sands like dew.

Witnessing a stone be struck

and waters flowing through.

Following a column

lighting one step at a time,

What now seems so uncertain,

was it once so all divine?

My legs do not grow weary,

my clothes do not decay,

I follow, I am silent,

I do not know the way.

I'm curious about the land

beyond what I can see.

I know the land that's now behind

and burns my memory:

As fear and worry captures me

I ponder at my plight

Give voice to discontentment

And rail against this flight.

To choose to stay, or choose to slow?

But if I leave, where will I go?

Dwelling in the land now past

Freedom was my dream.

But in these walls of desert

what freedom can be seen?

I cry aloud, to God..

And pause. Wipe blinding sand aside.

I remember I was rescued

I walked through walls of tide.

My steps grow quick, a song burst forth.

I lift my voice, now strong.

I hear the praises echo

through this great nomadic throng.

I look up to the light again-

A steady constant glow.

And steady now my heart responds

That where it leads, I'll go.

I know now what is woe.

Tiger

Love is vulnerable and fierce. Love is like a Tiger, gentle and fierce at once.

This love I have for you:

It never leaves me.

Time can't touch it.

The hurts and heartspills

Take archers aim,

But cannot pierce the mark.

Love overtakes me,

Though I flee like a gazelle:

It is a tiger, and love brings me to my knees.

Dreamlike, love surrounds me.

While I struggle to remain in reality

It's visions cloud my eyes

And I am consumed with your nearness.

Sometimes I move inside your thoughts,

An alternate self,

Frightened, I embrace this love.

It fits so well,And silence does not still it.

Dancer

Dancer-a surprise reflection of self

I glance into the mirror

And see

The golden child upon the stairs.

Still smiling from beneath the cares:

I see my face, eyes wise and worn,

Behind the child's eyes,

Tinged forlorn.

I hear her music:

Memories lilting past,

Turning to listen

I see that happy dancer

Giggling on the stairs,

Pirouetting through the seasons.

Leaving the cement walking to the woman outside.

Smiling from the stairs,

Still the golden child, but not.

............

Old woman sits rocking on the porch.

She is only yesterday, her future recedes.

And in the twilight

She sees the ballerina,

Giggling.